It's cold in this world and there is so much bad stuff happening, isn't it. I find even if you are a strong woman you still look for that Knight to come save you. It's really hard for me right now, with all the loss in my life, no job,no home and no one there to hold me or encourage me, telling me I can do it. I have to do it all, I have to find a way to be the knight that I seek. It's really hard because as a female child, I like many others was fed the program of the Knight in Shining Armor. The books we read, simply watching our mothers interact with our fathers, television and the list goes on and on. You know what it really sucks to start over at fifty. The good thing is, I am now not responsible for small children. The bad thing, I still have to find a job, place to live and food to eat. I was talking to a friend and I suggested strapping on a back pack and just heading out, that's insane he said but I don't know maybe I will find myself, where I belong in life, start a new chapter. I don't know I'm still up in the air on life. What do you think, go back to work or go on the open road and let me remind you it is just as dangerous in your own home now as any other place. I could sit by and wait for that knight but me, I've always been impatient. I've always been a go-getter, no reason to change that now. But still in the middle of the night, when it is the darkest I cry.
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